My name is Bill Palmer. I am a magician, a writer, a publisher, and an actor . For 26 years, I performed at the Texas Renaissance Festival, near Houston, Texas, as Merlin the Magician.

During the 1981 season, I started using an original opening line which contains the phrase, "Just be glad I'm not a wizard!" This web site is part of the process of protecting that phrase under the Federal laws governing intellectual property.

I am pleased to report that "Just be glad I'm not a wizard." is now protected as a trademark under the patent laws of the United States of America.

This just in! "Aren't you glad I'm not a wizard!" is also now protected as a trademark under the patent laws of the United States of America.

During my run at the Texas Renaissance Festival, a magician who performs in Las Vegas quite regularly saw my show and lifted the line. It has also been picked up by various magicians at renaissance festivals around the country. This page and its alternate, http://www.justbegladimnotawizard.com, are here to give people a chance to learn the truth about this phrase.

For more information on the origin of this line, please visit http://www.merlinthemagician.com/opener.htm.

So far, I have licensed this line to the following magicians.

The first magician is my friend, Oscar Muņoz, of Pharr, Texas. One reason I did so was that he actually stopped using the line voluntarily when he learned that it was not a "stock" line, as so many magicians have thought over the years. Virtue is rewarded.

I have now added a second magician to the list of licensed users of this line. The new addition to the "family" of licensed users is Danny Archer. Danny also voluntarily stopped using the line without my asking him. See, it works!

Matthew David Stanley is now also licensed to use this line.

My friend Dexter Cleveland is now a licensed user of this line.

As of July 5, 2005, Michael Dustman is a licensed user of this line.

Eugene Protas is authorized to use this line as of October, 2005.

As of October 13, 2006, Scott Wells, AIMC (with Silver Star), is authorized to use this line.

As of August 9, 2007, Jim Davis, the Gunslinging Magician from Utah, is authorized to use this line.

As of August 19. 2007, Mack King is authorized to use this line.

January 7, 2008 -- This just in -- Scott Alexander of "Shattered" fame is now an authorized user of the line.

As of August 13, 2009, Harold Pulcher is authorized to use the line.

THIS JUST IN!!!!
January 26, 2024 -- Jay Lee, of CSI Vegas, is authorized to use this line.

SPECIAL NEWS ABOUT THIS LINE!!!

The trademark registrations for both "Aren't you glad I'm not a wizard?" and "Just be glad I'm not a wizard!" are expiring. I have been retired for a few years now, and do not, at this time, plan to tread the boards again. For this reason, I have decided not to renew the trademark registrations for these lines.

You may wonder what the point of this was. It's really simple. These lines were the kind that were very easy to use, but not really easy to deliver correctly. I wanted to make sure that people knew where the lines came from and asked permission from the originator to use them. Most of the people who asked really understood. I want to thank all of them for being professional.

So now, the line is part of that long list of public domain lines. Use it if you wish.

Just remember where it came from.